To all the #FWM (full-time working moms), I applaud you! As I stated in an earlier post, whether you're a FWM or a SAHM, they both have its challenges and benefits. So, I'd like to share with you my thoughts about being a FWM when I did it during the school year of 2014-2015 (wow that seems a looong time ago!).
Trusting in God
I really had to put my trust in God during this time in my life. I learned how to release my own "desire" to control things in my life and let God in. I can't say it was easy-peasy letting go of my innate desire to control but I knew I couldn't do this all on my own. I learned a lot about having faith in Him that everything would turn out okay and if it didn't, then I still had faith that God was in control. When I look back, I can see how God placed the perfect people in my life at the right times and at the right situations.
My Non-Negotiable
So there were things I had to let go of and ask for help as a FWM. For example, having a house cleaner once a month. I also had to be okay with not doing things right away, like..leaving the laundry unfolded for days just because I was too tired to fold laundry or even do laundry. BUT...there was one non-negotiable for me as a wife and a mom. I wanted to be able to provide a healthy and home-cooked meal a couple days of the week. THIS WAS MY NON-NEGOTIABLE. Yes I admit this would sometimes cause me stress to get home in time to cook and have dinner on the table at a decent time. However, this was one thing that I enjoyed doing as one of the many ways that I love and serve my kids and hubby.
Plan
Yes, I still had some type of plan in terms of what days I grocery shopped and what I cooked. That was the only thing I had planned every week. I always did my grocery shopping at Trader Joes on a Friday afternoon after work before I picked up my kids from daycare. I did my meal-planning on Thursday nights so that I had my shopping list for Friday. I wrote a blog post awhile ago about what I use to do my meal planning and grocery shopping.
Setting my limits
As a teacher, there is ALWAYS work to do, even when you leave the classroom. So, I had to really set my limits in terms of what time I stopped working in the classroom which was 4:30pm everyday (including days where we had staff or grade level meetings). Setting this time limit allowed me to pick my kids up early from daycare and spend some quality "mommy and me" time. Whatever wasn't done in the classroom, I left it at work! I really tried taking work home once a week and work one evening night but that didn't last long because realistically, I was tired. Plus, after the kids go to sleep, I wanted to spend that time with the hubby and just relax!
Would I be a FWM again?
I know I can do it and yes I think in the future I'll be a FWM again. When? I'm not sure yet! All I know is that being a FWM during the 2014-2015 school year made me realize how much I wanted to spend more time with my kids. Thus, I was fortunate enough to take a leave from my job and ultimately resign so that I could be a SAHM.
If you're a FWM, I would love to know your tips, tricks, and advice! Please share with your comments below! Thanks again for reading!
2014-2015 school year. Here's a little background before I share my thoughts:
- I decided to go back to full-time teaching after my 2 year job-sharing ended. I wanted to see if I could handle working full-time as well as being a mom of 2 young kids (plus I wasn't ready to be a SAHM just yet or more like if I wanted to be a SAHM at the time).
- My girls were 6 months old and 2 years old when I became a FWM.
- After teaching 2nd grade for 9 years, I was moved to 1st grade and into a new classroom. Both moves were difficult at first but I'm very glad to have been with an amazing supportive team and an awesome classroom neighbor.
- Halfway through the school year, my husband and I moved out of our house and into my parents' house because we decided to do some remodeling in our home.
So now that you know the background, here are some of my thoughts about being a FWM and also what things helped me stay sane. =) ** I understand that being a FWM is sometimes a choice that moms make and sometimes it is a financial necessity for the family. Either way, these thoughts are from my own experience and for me it was a mix of a choice and a financial necessity to be a FWM.
It was hard...
2014-2015 school year was the hardest year for me. I struggled a lot with "doing it all" and "doing it well". I'm a Type A person that likes things organized, neat, done, and "having all my ducks in a row". I'm a planner and a part of me is a perfectionist. So you can imagine that teaching, taking care of my girls, husband and the home was quite overwhelming. Throw in a remodel and teaching a new grade level put the whole situation over the top for me. Guys..the STRUGGLE WAS REAL!! I'm not going to lie...I had a few meltdowns throughout the year. 2014-2015 was the year of SURVIVAL! I wanted to do it all and do it well.
Taking a step back..
I remember asking my FWM friends how they did it and they gave me great advice about how they managed their time at work and at home. I really had to take a step back and be okay with doing what I could with what I had. I mean I wasn't SUPERWOMAN by no means (even though I wanted to be) and my sanity would have gone out the door if I wanted to be superwoman/mom. My husband was super supportive in reminding that I didn't have to do it all AND he was super helpful in helping me do things (example: washing dishes, starting laundry, etc.).
Trusting in God
I really had to put my trust in God during this time in my life. I learned how to release my own "desire" to control things in my life and let God in. I can't say it was easy-peasy letting go of my innate desire to control but I knew I couldn't do this all on my own. I learned a lot about having faith in Him that everything would turn out okay and if it didn't, then I still had faith that God was in control. When I look back, I can see how God placed the perfect people in my life at the right times and at the right situations.
My Non-Negotiable
So there were things I had to let go of and ask for help as a FWM. For example, having a house cleaner once a month. I also had to be okay with not doing things right away, like..leaving the laundry unfolded for days just because I was too tired to fold laundry or even do laundry. BUT...there was one non-negotiable for me as a wife and a mom. I wanted to be able to provide a healthy and home-cooked meal a couple days of the week. THIS WAS MY NON-NEGOTIABLE. Yes I admit this would sometimes cause me stress to get home in time to cook and have dinner on the table at a decent time. However, this was one thing that I enjoyed doing as one of the many ways that I love and serve my kids and hubby.
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| Cooking in my work clothes because I always cook with a necklace on.. hahaha! Not really.. |
Plan
Yes, I still had some type of plan in terms of what days I grocery shopped and what I cooked. That was the only thing I had planned every week. I always did my grocery shopping at Trader Joes on a Friday afternoon after work before I picked up my kids from daycare. I did my meal-planning on Thursday nights so that I had my shopping list for Friday. I wrote a blog post awhile ago about what I use to do my meal planning and grocery shopping.
Setting my limits
As a teacher, there is ALWAYS work to do, even when you leave the classroom. So, I had to really set my limits in terms of what time I stopped working in the classroom which was 4:30pm everyday (including days where we had staff or grade level meetings). Setting this time limit allowed me to pick my kids up early from daycare and spend some quality "mommy and me" time. Whatever wasn't done in the classroom, I left it at work! I really tried taking work home once a week and work one evening night but that didn't last long because realistically, I was tired. Plus, after the kids go to sleep, I wanted to spend that time with the hubby and just relax!
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| Mommy and Me playing on the floor time |
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| Mommy and me backyard fun |
Would I be a FWM again?
I know I can do it and yes I think in the future I'll be a FWM again. When? I'm not sure yet! All I know is that being a FWM during the 2014-2015 school year made me realize how much I wanted to spend more time with my kids. Thus, I was fortunate enough to take a leave from my job and ultimately resign so that I could be a SAHM.
If you're a FWM, I would love to know your tips, tricks, and advice! Please share with your comments below! Thanks again for reading!
